in your mind and in your heart.

i read a talk that helped me a ton and i know it would help anyone who is around my age when there are so many big life decisions to be made.

"Cast Not Away Therefore Your Confidence" Elder Jeffrey R. Holland

"With any major decision there are cautions and considerations to make, but once there has been illumination, beware the temptation to retreat from a good thing. If it was right when you prayed about it and trusted it and lived for it, it is right now. Don't give up when the pressure mounts. Certainly don't give in to that being who is bent on the destruction of your happiness. Face your doubts. Master your fears. "Cast not away therefore your confidence." Stay the course and see the beauty of life unfold for you."

-Elder Jeffrey R. Holland

i love that last part "stay the course and see the beauty of life unfold for you". Heavenly Father trusts us to make good decisions and with his trust and by living a righteous life and striving to be like our Savior we can make good decisions, and as we make them and stick with them the Lord will open doors for us as we go, and there are so many doors that he wants to open for us! i also love how Elder Holland then talks about section 9 of D&C, "i will tell you in your mind and in your heart..." in your heart (does it feel right), in your mind (does it make sense). 

I've heard most all of these things so many times in my lifetime, but i am constantly amazed at the gospel and how incredible the Spirit is. i can hear one thing one day, and hear the same thing the next week and be completely converted all over again. and i wouldn't be able to take in any of it if it weren't for the gift of the Holy Ghost. i am always learning and growing and being reminded of how simple and wonderful the gospel is.

"When we dwelt in the presence of God our Heavenly Father, we were endowed with agency. This gave us the opportunity, the privilege, to choose what we would do—to make a free, untrammeled choice. When Father Adam was placed in the Garden of Eden, he was given this same power, and we now possess it. We're expected to use the gifts and talents and abilities, the sense and judgment and agency with which we are endowed.

But on the other hand, we're commanded to seek the Lord, to desire his Spirit, to get the spirit of revelation and inspiration in our lives. We come unto the Church and a legal administrator places his hands upon our head and says, "Receive the Holy Ghost." This gives us the gift of the Holy Ghost, which is the right to the constant companionship of that member of the Godhead, based on faithfulness.

And so we're faced with two propositions. One is that we ought to be guided by the spirit of inspiration, the spirit of revelation. The other is that we're here under a direction to use our agency, to determine what we ought to do on our own; and we need to strike a fine balance between these two, if we're going to pursue a course that will give us joy and satisfaction and peace in this life and lead to eternal reward in our Father's kingdom."

-Bruce R. McConkie (Agency or Inspiration, link)

that talk is so good too!

Happy November!

we are right smack in the middle of the best time of the year (October-December) so let's all be happy about it. i was way stinkin happy to see that number one on my calendar app this morning.

today.

today was a very good day to live in Logan. it was gloomy outside, but good gloom. it rained, and i went for a run in it and all of the leaves. all of Logan is covered in yellow, orange, and red leaves right now. i think they all fell over the weekend, it was a nice surprise to come back to a colorful town after the weekend. good gloom is good.

one of my roommates from downstairs took that last photo of the back of our house, isn't it a pretty one?

today was just a really great day.

in Institute we talked about love and agency. we read a talk by a member of the Seventy that said love is a decision. you don't "fall in love" because you, in fact, have complete control over love, it isn't something you just fall into without choice. while in class i thought a lot about the people i know who have "fallen out of love" and claim to have not been happy in their marriage. we read that to "fall out of love" is a cunning myth or rather, a satanic lie. i never really thought about love as more of a decision  than a feeling. also while i was in class i thought about a quote from the movie Dan in Real Life (there are so many good quotes from that movie) when his daughter's boyfriend says "Love is not a feeling, Mr. Burns, it's an ability". 

i am so grateful for my Heavenly Father, for loving us so much that he continually gives us his son, our Savior. and i am so grateful for my Savior's love because the more i feel and learn of his love, the more i am able to love others.

(the talk we read is called "Agency and Love in Marriage" by Elder Lynn G. Robbins)

peaceful. quiet. subtle.

the Spirit speaks to everybody in a different way. i love that. i love that the way i feel the Spirit is so personal to me. distinguishing the voice of the Spirit can be hard sometimes, sometimes i wonder if it's me just thinking that i've felt the Spirit, when in fact i may just be trying to justify something. i've learned, though, that when i've been living the principals of the gospel, that i am able to feel and distinguish the Spirit so much easier. and when i listen, and obey, i feel happiness that only the voice of the Spirit and the love of my Savior can give me. especially when i am prompted to do something that i am completely uncomfortable with. those are the times that i feel my Savior's love the strongest.

"...for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will i make weak things become strong unto them." -Ether 12:27

then, not before, but then will He make weak things become strong. we admit that we cannot overcome temptation and sin without the help of our Savior. we drop our pride and fall into His arms, which are waiting to catch us. and then He will help us up again, and we will be stronger than before. we cannot go through this life alone. this scripture means so much to me. i know that Jesus Christ is our Savior, and that he did Atone for our sins and has made it possible for us to be happy, so happy. every time my testimony of the Atonement is strengthened i am blown away at how much love he has for me and for everybody. i feel His love even stronger, and i am also able to love others stronger, which is such a beautiful thing.

worth waiting for

i listened in on my mom giving a lesson today in her YW's class, she showed them this video and i just loved it. our Father in Heaven has so many blessings in store for us. how cute are those kiddos, too!

thoughts on faith.

i read this on Madi's blog the other day:

"An unexamined faith is not worth having." 

Russell Hancock

i've thought about that a bit over the past few days. in my grandpa's Gospel Principles class today he taught about Exaltation. Exaltation is the ultimate goal, it is what we are here to work towards. being reunited and living with our Heavenly Father and Christ again.

grace by grace, bit by bit, line upon line, precept upon precept.

we learn how to reach that goal.

but of course we cannot reach a goal that we don't understand. and the more time we take to understand, experiment, examine the goal, the more we yearn for it. the more we live it. the more we live with an eternal perspective. the more we live in happiness, through our Savior. because he is the one, true way to true happiness.

continually examining our faith and beliefs, even our most basic beliefs, will help us see life as it comes better than with a halted faith that never grows. we will understand why bad things happen to us and to those we love, and we will understand why different people were put in our life at different times, and we will understand what we can do to better ourselves. and the good stuff, the good stuff means so much more, because we know that it is a blessing from our Heavenly Father, and we understand his love more deeply. we see life in a better way.

i hope someday i can have a faith like the brother of Jared. have a faith that i will never question.

i love insights like this. insights that i've learned before but every time i learn them it means more and i feel converted all over again.

Happy Sunday!

remember to be happy now.

"The lesson here is that if we spend our days waiting for fabulous roses, we could miss the beauty and wonder of the tiny forget-me-nots that are all around us."

"The happiest people I know are not those who find their golden ticket; they are those who, while in pursuit of worthy goals, discover and treasure the beauty and sweetness of the everyday moments. They are the ones who, thread by daily thread, weave a tapestry of gratitude and wonder throughout their lives. These are they who are truly happy."

 i always find myself reading President Dieter F. Uchtdorf's "Forget Me Not" talk. it's one of my favorites. the section about remembering to be happy now really stood out to me tonight. i always seem to be waiting for something amazing to happen, or i'm always anxious for a certain event or time of life to come along. and i often forget to love my life RIGHT NOW. i needed that reminder. you can read the whole address here.

peace.

my sweet Great Grandma Thornock passed away last Friday. she was just so sweet. i cannot remember a birthday when i didn't receive a lovely letter from her in the mail. when i graduated from High School she sent me a package of a few of her possessions that i hold close to my heart, as well as a photo of Christ. her testimony of Christ was always a strong example to me. her passing is a sad-happy thing. Friday was my aunt Nikki's birthday who passed away when i was younger, and i like to imagine Grandma wishing Nikki a happy day as well kissing her sweetheart once again, it's been too long that they've been apart. when i found out i walked to the Logan Cemetery. i LOVE this place, it is in the most random and perfect location. right next to campus. sometimes i take the long way home to walk through this peaceful cemetery. i love love cemeteries, i wouldn't even mind being proposed to in a cemetery they are so lovely.

i love you Grandma Thornock.

cry when you cry, rejoice when you are well.

in the movie i watched today with T a guy said this when someone asked him how the God he prays to could let such terrible things happen to decent people:

"Missy {his daughter} could fall down and hurt herself, even if I'm walking right there beside her. That doesn't mean that I allowed it to happen. She knows, as far as unconditional love, I'll pick her up and I'll carry her. I'll try to heal her. I'll cry when she cries. And I'll rejoice when she is well. In all the moments of my life, God has been right there beside me. The truth of God's love is not that he allows bad things to happen. 
It's His promise that he'll be there with us when they do."

Happy Sunday.

thankful.

I have so many things to be thankful for, here are a few that i'm most thankful for:

my family & the fact that we are sealed together for time & all eternity.

my friends, every last one of them. especially those beautiful roommates of mine that will forever be some of my best friends.

my home.

the gospel & my testimony.

music, music will always be a big part of my life.

my future family, i love them so much already.

& this Earth, it's so beautiful.

Happy Thanksgiving all!

brother.

"I helped teach the lesson in third hour on missionariy work, and I just wanted to say that I know that it's the greatest work we can be involved in. I've never had more fun, been more tired, shed so many tears of joy, and smiled as I have on my mission. I figure that I've spent almost 1000 hours formally teaching on my mission, and for all the teaching I've done, I feel that I've learned more than anybody. I agree with President Monson in that every worthy, able young man should prepare to serve a full-time mission. It's what we promised to do before we came to this earth. There's no greater calling. Have a great week!"

-Elder Dobry

we received Jason's 102nd email today. 102! lately i am full of excitement for him to come home, i can't believe he arrives home in only 23 days. it's been so fun to hear from him each week about his adventures & to get advice from him when i needed it. i miss playing basketball with him, card games & mancala, & staying up to watch the late night showings of Whose Line Is It Anyway?.
i feel like so many friends are out in the mission field (& they just keep getting calls!) so it's nice to know they come home. i think it's time to get myself an old globe & place little flags in all the areas around the world where all those missionary friends are. i'm so proud.

{i really just could not spot my brother in this picture, he's there though, i promise}

gospel.

i really enjoyed watching this video today. my brother was there, singing in the celebration. did you notice how beautiful the people are! i am full of glad thoughts for them because they are able to have a temple near, the gospel really needs spreading there & i am so excited about this. & that i get to hear about the miracles happening in that land from my brother every week.

lately the church is more true than ever to me. there is no way that it isn't. i get the feeling of love & happiness that overwhelms my body so much, the spirit. i love it. i feel like i've learned so much this past year, & it's opened up many more opportunities for me.

it is incredible. the word is spreading to all lands, & my friends & family are helping, & i hope i am in some way as well. i am so grateful for this.