time.

time is not a fan of me.
i'm not a fan of time.
it keeps spurting out the spare kind and i waste it. i don't use it to its full potential.
i thought about my life today and how it is just there sometimes. almost nothing yet so much, but that "much" is not helpful to me. it's not making me as happy as i can be. i am a happy person. but i have all these dreams, things i want to make, do, see, meet, read, watch. but i don't ever do them. i claim i don't have the time. i do. & time gives it to me everyday, i just waste it.
i saw this one one movie that made me think. i love movies that make me think. they talked about how "americans-wake up, drink their coffee, fuss about their looks then go to work, come home and get in their jammies so they can watch tv all night". then we stay up too late because we can. then we wake up & do it again.
not everyone. not the same for everyone. yet, the same. routine, i don't like routine. but i don't try to change my routine.
& i don't try to make better use of my time. the spare kind, & the kind where i'm supposed to be learning or working. i don't even use the time i'm supposed to be sleeping correctly.
so much abuse.
time is one of those always constant things in my life & i abuse it so much! it's always going to be there, it's always moving, & it's always speeding up because i don't know how to use it properly.
i am here to get to know Him.
so why am i/the world so worried about gaining money or position just to make a life, when i already have one. these things are important, but not the most important.
i am here to get to know Him.
i'll do this by caring about things He cares about. seeing, meeting His creations.
& just having Him & the purpose, which i am so blessed to know of, on my mind everyday.
& then those things i worry about, will work out. i know this.

so my goal: don't be a horrible spare-time spender, try to get the "have to do's" done (on time) & have more time to do the, productive, "want to do because this is going to make me happy & a better person  's".

the end.