i would own a flower shop. i would own a shop of vintage pretties, cupcakes & penny candies in different shaped jars. i would be a cook for a fancy restaurant. i would be a marine biologist & scuba the oceans. i would travel. i think this is why i love Eat Pray Love-i admire her ability to up & explore on her own. i would design pretty clothes & sell them. i would paint. i would draw. i would be an architect. i would run a very large library & read every book in it. ahh. i would dance ballet. i would be in movie production. i would do interior design. i would write. i would write for a huge publishing company in a big city. i would be a research/fact checker for a publishing company in a big city.
in another life. or just my dreams.
but for now,
i plan to be a speech therapist & the best mother i can be to those kiddos i think about everyday. & already love so incroyablement much.
comme des enfants-coeur de pirate pour un infidele-coeur de pirate ensemble-coeur de pirate flightless bird, american mouth-iron & wine wax & wire-loch lomond i'm a pilot-fanfarlo sovay-andrew bird train song-ben gibbard & feist dumpster diving-castledoor there goes my baby-the drifters delicate-damien rice postcards from italy-beirut nantes-beirut lasso-phoenix world news-local natives shape shifter-local natives the suburbs-arcade fire hero-regina spektor swim until you can't see land-frightened rabbit trumpets-flipsyde light outside-wakey! wakey! i am not a robot-marina & the diamonds so sorry-feist angel-jack johnson
go listen to the lovelies.
<----------------------------------------------------have you read the diaries of a fly on the wall?
sometimes i think they are me too.
especially pretty much everything Mallory said here.
naming my boy Jude has always been on my mind. I LOVE THAT NAME.
Hannah & i had the same idea of asking a boy to a dance.
one time i think i saw them at the USU open house, i felt really weird that i knew who they were. i worked all summer with one of their friends & he was with them so that made me feel a little less weird i suppose.
maybe it was only one of them actually...eh.
anyway, i secretly hope they end up at USU & we magically end up in the same apartment.
time is only the strangest thing to me. so fast or so slow. sometimes it doesn't even happen.
right now, right now for a lot of people i believe, it the strangest time of life. for me, i feel a lot older than most the people i am with, even the ones that are older than me, the grey haired ones.
it is a strange time. none of us, the people i am talking about, want to be where we are. except for the grey haired ones. & why did they put it off till now? i think after this semester maybe i'll feel more placed. but for now i'll just feel strange i suppose.
when i was little i always wondered why the world was so grey & colourless. i wondered why we didn't make buildings blue & pretty. but i've realized that when i look i can find colour. in the pretty houses & streets here in utah. but what about everywhere else? i want to see everywhere else so bad, every place's colour. everything that is undiscovered, not by people, by me. i know i have much to see, learn, hear. but mostly see. museums. art shows. buildings. people. streets. oceans. shops. structures. & plays.
i guess i'm just bored.
i read all ofoh so rosie today. it was interesting to me because here is a girl younger than me. we both like the same things. but we are so different. money makes a big difference. at one point i felt so much jealousy for her instax mini, & anthropologie wardrobe, her birthday party that included a photobooth, & every place she's ever been. then i remembered my life is wonderful. i have everything i need & so much more. i don't need an enormous birthday party to make me happy. i like my life & the people that i share it with & the things that i have. i love my things. down to the last strip of ribbon i own. & i love my dreams & what i stand for & my passions, & that i have the gospel in my life. these are the things that matter.
i am not trying to put a damper onoh so rosie girl. she is lovely & undoubtedly a very sweet girl. oh & very talented i've noticed: styling & drawing & her photography.
i used to think "people can be lovely", this is wrong. people are lovely. if i just take the time to see them. truly.
ending AP calculus. taking more photos & trying to video stuff more. getting started on some of those ideas i have. ending high school & graduating with my associates. jason coming home. HARRY POTTER. a summer project i have in mind. starting COLLEGE & a whole lot of new happy things.