fabric pompoms.
&hanging hearts.

{thanks carrie for fabric & idea.
thanks jane reaction for link to tutorial}



"dad: you don't even know who you are ronnie."
ronnie: who am i?
dad: you are the kindest, sweetest, most beautiful daughter."
-the last song.
i can ask Heavenly Father who i am a thousand times & i'll always get that answer,
no matter what.
i love these simple reminders that come.
the best kind of sundays are the ones when i come home with new hope & stingy eyeballs because the spirit speaks to me through happy thoughts & feelings.

today i feel very grateful that i have carrie in my life.
we are not perfect. we are not identical at all.
sometimes i'm mad at her. but it doesn't ever last long, which is the best kind of relationship to me.
less complications, more understanding.
i try to avoid complications with people (i'm so glad i carry this characteristic), but i don't have to with her.
that kind of relationship is hard to find.
she is the only person besides myself on the earth right now who really knows my personality, this is very true.
something will make complete sense in my head & to her, but to no one else.
sometimes we are the only two people on the earth.
i always say to myself that my husband will be boy version of carrie. what a happy day it'll be when i have both.
i am blessed.
i am grateful for carrie smiff.


driving alone.
red lipstick.

once a week.
three things i love.
for one day.
un deux trois.


if a double decker bus crashes into us,
to die by your side
what a heavenly way to die.



here comes that feeling you thought you'd forgotten.
a happy list:
"dublin's fair ciy where the girls are so pretty"
pasta bowls.
pretty dresses.
new york! 2nd week of may.
donald trump in class.
grandmas. mine & yours.
wishful thinking.
think, cary grant.
bubbly. bogus.
cookies. the black & white kind.


it happens.

i really don't think i'll be donating blood again anytime soon.
obviously my body didn't like that.
whenever carrie & i are in a class together. it is always the best class ever. i love her.
yesterday in photo 2, everything that happened was so funny. these are my favorite class periods. the ones where you are always laughing.
health, sophomore year with carrie is something i'll never forget too.
mikey, james, biggs, brad, etc.
today, spencer & i were telling each other funny things we've seen in high school.
like how he saw that one one kid cumble in his desk in Amanda's class & get his leg stuck in it. Amanda even laughed.
or how today, i had ice packs all over me & a vomit bag placed on my stomach when my body went all whoosy. that was humiliating, but of course something like that would happen to me.
"i don't want to be your girlfriend right now, i'm sick."
or when you see someone down the hall & yell their name & everyone else turns & hears you, but not that person. after the fifth or so try you end up running away.
so what i'm saying is, funny stuff happens.



i cannot get over how lovely James Moes' style is.
& i've looked at the same photos this whole time.

& i sooo love when boys do their hair like this russell.
reminds me of flipped.
plus how beautiful are all those green trees!



ending this week.

earlier this week i was like Tom.
" maybe in a world where good things happen to me"
that was me.
but now.
good things do happen to me.
my glasses matched my tights.
my hair looked different.
we told a story through pictures.
i was the fastest name teller in seminary.
the windows in my car were rolled down, it was sunny.
i remembered when that one one fish did a jump.
i went to a bookstore.
happy weekending.
i'm going to read now.



pelett stoves are so very toasty.
i'm yet to see one in Utah...have you?
it is was makes grandma's so lovely. plus all the other welcoming things.
the one below is at cousin Kelsi's, taken last Thanksgiving. a good time i think.
i'm also a fan of wearing socks over my pants.


cakecup. & baldness.

if i were bald i know i would be very very ugly.
i have an odd shaped head. & lots of weird bumps.
i hope i'm never bald.
carrie put together our clips from Sunday's cupcake night, & i quite like it.
just like i like her.



going to the movies is one of my favorite things to do of all. by myself, with family, with friends, front row, back row, popcorn or not. whatever. i love it.
& i go a lot.


what would you do if i sang out a tune.

i wish bowling really was this fun.
& this may be the only remix beatles song i like more than the original.
maybe also "with a little help from my friends" from this soundtrack.

i need help from people, you people, whomever you may be. i'm not a big new year's resolution person, but i did make a goal to send out more letters this year.
everyone could use a good mail day.
it is a lovely surprise. & i love putting that flag up on the mailbox.
i have a lot of fantastic postcards that need to be put to use.
my problem is i don't know people's address'.
maybe you would like to receive a Postcard From Me one day. just maybe.
if so, email me your name & address.
much appreciation.
i really would love it.

...i get by with a little help from my friends.


dreams can be dreams. reality can be reality.

if i could do anything.

i would own a flower shop.
i would own a shop of vintage pretties, cupcakes & penny candies in different shaped jars.
i would be a cook for a fancy restaurant.
i would be a marine biologist & scuba the oceans.
i would travel. i think this is why i love Eat Pray Love-i admire her ability to up & explore on her own.
i would design pretty clothes & sell them.
i would paint.
i would draw.
i would be an architect.
i would run a very large library & read every book in it. ahh.
i would dance ballet.
i would be in movie production.
i would do interior design.
i would write.
i would write for a huge publishing company in a big city.
i would be a research/fact checker for a publishing company in a big city.

in another life.
or just my dreams.

but for now,
 i plan to be a speech therapist & the best mother i can be to those kiddos i think about everyday. & already love so incroyablement much.

i can cook for them.
be crafty with them.
make clothes for them.
travel with them.
create a garden with them.
reality is all i need.
these guys.
local natives.
the music is so correct for me lately.



sometimes jessie & i are the same person.
today is a good tune day.
but what day isn't.
comme des enfants-coeur de pirate
pour un infidele-coeur de pirate
ensemble-coeur de pirate
flightless bird, american mouth-iron & wine
wax & wire-loch lomond
i'm a pilot-fanfarlo
sovay-andrew bird
train song-ben gibbard & feist
dumpster diving-castledoor
there goes my baby-the drifters
delicate-damien rice
postcards from italy-beirut
world news-local natives
shape shifter-local natives
the suburbs-arcade fire
hero-regina spektor
swim until you can't see land-frightened rabbit
light outside-wakey! wakey!
i am not a robot-marina & the diamonds
so sorry-feist
angel-jack johnson

go listen to the lovelies.
<----------------------------------------------------have you read the diaries of a fly on the wall?
you should.
sometimes i think they are me too.
especially pretty much everything Mallory said here.
naming my boy Jude has always been on my mind. I LOVE THAT NAME.
Hannah & i had the same idea of asking a boy to a dance.
see her's here.
this was mine.
one time i think i saw them at the USU open house, i felt really weird that i knew who they were. i worked all summer with one of their friends & he was with them so that made me feel a little less weird i suppose.
maybe it was only one of them actually...eh.
anyway, i secretly hope they end up at USU & we magically end up in the same apartment.
now wouldn't that be rather grand.



time is only the strangest thing to me.
so fast or so slow.
sometimes it doesn't even happen.

right now, right now for a lot of people i believe, it the strangest time of life. for me, i feel a lot older than most the people i am with, even the ones that are older than me, the grey haired ones.

it is a strange time. none of us, the people i am talking about, want to be where we are. except for the grey haired ones. & why did they put it off till now? i think after this semester maybe i'll feel more placed. but for now i'll just feel strange i suppose.

when i was little i always wondered why the world was so grey & colourless. i wondered why we didn't make buildings blue & pretty.
but i've realized that when i look i can find colour. in the pretty houses & streets here in utah. but what about everywhere else?
i want to see everywhere else so bad, every place's colour.
everything that is undiscovered, not by people, by me.
i know i have much to see, learn, hear.
but mostly see.
museums. art shows. buildings. people. streets. oceans. shops. structures. & plays.

i guess i'm just bored.

i read all of oh so rosie today. it was interesting to me because here is a girl younger than me. we both like the same things. but we are so different. money makes a big difference. at one point i felt so much jealousy for her instax mini, & anthropologie wardrobe, her birthday party that included a photobooth, & every place she's ever been. then i remembered my life is wonderful. i have everything i need & so much more. i don't need an enormous birthday party to make me happy. i like my life & the people that i share it with & the things that i have. i love my things. down to the last strip of ribbon i own. & i love my dreams & what i stand for & my passions, & that i have the gospel in my life. these are the things that matter.

i am not trying to put a damper on oh so rosie girl. she is lovely & undoubtedly a very sweet girl. oh & very talented i've noticed: styling & drawing & her photography.

i used to think "people can be lovely", this is wrong. people are lovely. if i just take the time to see them. truly.

reminders are nice.


inspiring photographer & a red swing.

one of my most favorite photography blogs.
the loveliest angles i tell you.



i am loving this so entirely.
a lovely homemade lamp on Jane Reaction.
they are too creative & cute.

i've been engraving a list in my head of ways to get me through the next five months.
here we go kids.
i've got to get through it. I MUST.
Sunday nights are the worst.


two zero one one.

happy 2011!
it should be an eventful one.

what i'm looking forward to:

ending AP calculus. taking more photos & trying to video stuff more. getting started on some of those ideas i have. ending high school & graduating with my associates. jason coming home. HARRY POTTER. a summer project i have in mind. starting COLLEGE & a whole lot of new happy things.